Friday, December 13, 2013

Hmmm.

   So it's Friday night and what am I doing, sitting at home reading rosacea forums. lol. Some things never change. I guess I should have taken a picture to put on here but I forget sorry. I will post a picture of me from yesterday. I was wearing lipstick (which I never do) so I thought I should take a picture to prove to my friend I do indeed wear makeup from time to time. I still only wear translucent mineral powder on my face. I'm still pretty cautious about what I put on it, even my costume makeup is professional stage makeup and I am always using new sponges and washing my brushed really good. I have this fear that all of a sudden I am going to wake up and my face is going to go back to being really bad and the tto isn't going to work any more and I have no other options. I know, I'm obsessive.

   Anyways, as I was looking at the forum I seen someone say "go check out Kisha's blog" and I thought "Hey! That's me!" LOL. It's so funny because I mean I know a few people read this because every once and a while someone will comment but it's still funny that someone would use my little journal as a reference. It made me feel good, like maybe me posting these humiliating pictures for the world to see might actually help someone. If so that's pretty awesome. Even if my method doesn't work to clear someone else's face, if someone else even just reads this and my feelings and how low I felt and realizes that they are not alone in this, it's worth it.

   So anyways of anyone on here is from the rosacea forum and if you have any questions or anything feel free to message me on here or the forum. I get all of my oils, herbs, everything from Mountain Rose Herbs. I highly recommend them. I have also started making my own soap, body butter, lotion, everything. I want to know what is going on my skin and is being absorbed. As far as makeup I am doing the mineral makeup unless it's costume stuff.

Okay so here is a really random picture of me that really has no comparison capabilities at all. But this is me in natural light (obviously) lipstick, mascara and a light translucent powder. You can see I have a little rosy cheeks, I just consider it natural blush, but no flaming red, scaly, bumpy skin. But see I am not always really scary looking! I can go out in public without making small children run!



Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Me blabbering about ....

      So I started to write this as a response to someone who has read my blog and thanked me and told me they were to shy to put up pictures. I have actually had a lot of people thanking me for the pictures and well, your welcome. When I was starting out I use to try to look at every picture I could find and try to compare my face to theirs, is mine worse, is their's worse, is their treatment working things like that. The frustrating part is we are all so ashamed of our faces none of us post pictures! I didn't find a whole lot of pictures besides the ones that doctors had taken or grainy pictures people took of their face in a current state asking for advice but not a whole lot. So when I decided to keep a journal taking those pictures wasn't easy...at all. At first I was just going to do it so I can see my progress and then I decided to post them so maybe I can help others. So once I decided I was going to post pictures on here, I wasn't going to show my whole face in case someone might know me or because I was embarrassed that's why my first pictures only show the bottom half of my face. Then I just said forget it, you know what it is what it is, maybe if the people in my life see what my face REALLY looks like they will understand it a little better. So that is where I am at today. This is my face, it's the only one I have, so deal with it and if my pictures help someone else great, I'm not going to lie it was and is really hard to put a picture of myself barefaced into the world but it's to late now! Sometimes it's just nice to see another face like yours and know that you are not the only person dealing with this. Well with that being said no one in my personal life knows about my blog... at all. To me pictures are everything, I get hope from visualization so when I was having a bad day I could look back and be like, well it could be worse.

           The hardest part of having rosacea for me is trying to explain rosacea to people that don't have it. They just don't get it! First they don't understand that it is physically painful, they just think you have pink rosy cheeks, it HURTS. Your face feels swollen and tight and it throbs and it feels like it has been in a meat grinder and it's hot, it's just miserable. I would put cold wet wash clothes on my face and it would feel soooo good. Also they don't get that it's your FACE. It's the first thing people see when they great you and meet you, it's the first impression you give, you can't hide it. You can try to hide it with makeup but you know that heavy makeup is just going to leave you in physical pain later because it's so harsh. It's just as much as an emotional/mental disease as it is physical and other people don't get it. The only people that will get it is others who are going through the same things. When I would get upset and not want to leave my house or cancel plans with friends I would get unsympathetic response of "It's just your face...get over it" I got tired of hearing that. It's easy for others to say because their insecurities can be hidden, their flaws are not on display. So that is where the blog name came from. Every single day, EVERY day, at least one (usually more) person would tell me I look flush or like I got sun or how rosy my cheeks are or ask if I was feeling ok or if I had a fever. I was so sick of it I wanted to just wear a shirt that said "yes my face is red, thanks for pointing it out I would have never known". If someone is really fat people don't point it out, if they are going bald they don't point it out but people have no problem pointing out your face. It is just plain rude.

      So basically that whole rant was to say this. Thank you for reading my blog, thank you for the support and encouragement and all the kind words. I hope if you find this and feel like you are all alone and don't plan on leaving your house ever again you can realize you are not! There are other people out their suffering and hurting physically and emotionally and it can get better! Sorry about typos and shit not making sense, I never re-read before posting (I should) or spell check. I basically have used this as a journal and just let things spill out as they come. Probably explains why things are so all over the place. So yeah, that's it for tonight! I think I will post again tomorrow.




Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Oh yeah

    So when I did my update I forgot to mention that not only has my skin been looking great but I have also been putting it through hell. Living in New Orleans we have a lot of social clubs and krewes and groups and I joined one! I am a member of a bone krewe called Skinz N Bonez. Anyways, we dress up as dia de los muertos or day of the dead for events and parades and such, and being in New Orleans we have a bunch of these types of events. So what does this have to do with my face? I have been putting it through hell with all of the makeup and glue and glitter and it has been staying pretty consistent. I get a pimple every now and then but who wouldn't with all of this. So here is a few pictures of the things I have been putting my face through.




Monday, December 2, 2013

Long over due update.

   Sorry for anyone that has been waiting for an update, life has been super busy with school and trying to find steady work and apprenticeship and well....just life. So I have just been using the tea tree soap to bathe with and the tea tree oil/argan oil mixture once a day before bed. My redness has DRASTICALLY reduced, I don't really get pustules anymore, I actually can't think of the last time I got one. I do get pimples now and then and actually just had two right next to each other on my lip so it looked like one GIGANTIC zit. Just in time for the holidays! So that is basically been it, my face has been such a none issue lately it's amazing, especially since it had been a battle for YEARS and was ruining my life. It still blows my mind that a bottle of oil I bought for 10 dollars months ago was the answer all along. Okay on to the pictures. You will see that I have the large double decker pimple healing on my lip, it's going away now, but other than that no blemishes.